A couple of years ago I asked a group of college students to give me a one-word description for the season of the holidays. Many of the words chosen were adjectives you might expect – joyous, festive, and happy. Some of the words were more relational – family, giving, and love.

One student offered a word that prompted me to ask more questions. The response? Mess. A one-word description to describe the holidays is the word “mess.”

Apparently the student isn’t alone in feeling this way. According to the National Institute of Health, Thanksgiving through Christmas is the time of year that people experience feelings of anxiety and depression. Hospitals and police report higher numbers of attempted suicides. One recent survey in the United States and Canada showed that 45% of the respondents dreaded the holiday seasons.

Shades of Ebenezer Scrooge – why would that be true? WebMD – a health website – suggests that some find it true because of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) where people become more depressed during the colder, less sunny times of the year.

For some it appears to center around unrealistic expectations and too much time for self-reflection. Buried deep within the minds of many are images of families and Christmas that were painted by Norman Rockwell or scripted by the movie writers at the Hallmark Channel. Reality can never measure up to the happy endings that the media can construct.

There are a host of other reasons that the holidays are a mess – including the pressures of having to spend money that isn’t there or the expectations of the gathering of family – but for the larger number of people, the holidays spell loneliness and grief because they have suffered the loss of a loved one. For these folks the holidays is always a reminder of an empty chair, one less voice, one less place-setting around the family table.

Is it any wonder that some describe the holidays as a mess?

There is an interesting passage in the Old Testament, penned by the hand of King Solomon.

To everything there is a season,
a time for every purpose under the sun.
A time to be born and a time to die;
a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
a time to kill and a time to heal …
a time to weep and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn and a time to dance …
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to lose and a time to seek;
a time to rend and a time to sew;
a time to keep silent and a time to speak;
a time to love and a time to hate;
a time for war and a time for peace.

ecclesiastes 3:1-8 niv

“Turn! Turn! Turn! (To Everything There Is a Season)”, or simply “Turn! Turn! Turn!”, is a song written by Pete Seeger in the late 1950s. The lyrics, except for the title, which is repeated throughout the song, and the final two lines, are adapted word-for-word from the English version of the first eight verses of the third chapter of the biblical Book of Ecclesiastes. The song was originally released in 1962 as “To Everything There Is a Season” on folk group the Limeliters’ RCA album Folk Matinee and then some months later on Seeger’s own The Bitter and the Sweet.

The song became an international hit in late 1965 when it was adapted by the American folk rock group the Byrds. The single entered the record chart at number 80 on October 23, 1965, before reaching number one on the Billboard Hot 100 chart on December 4, 1965. In Canada, it reached number three on Nov. 29, 1965, and also peaking at number 26 on the UK Singles Chart.

I see four truths from this passage of Scripture that apply to our season.

  1. Things Change. Solomon says there is nothing new under the sun. Everything is different, always in flux.

  2. Things Stay the Same. Solomon says there is nothing new under the sun. Even though things are changing, the heart of it all stays the same.

  3. God has a purpose under every sun, every season.

  4. How we respond is under our control.

When the children were younger and living at home, during the season there was always one ~ okay perhaps “at least one” would be more accurate ~ place in the house that was a mess. The location of the mess would shift from time to time, depending on the setting, the needs and who was making and cleaning the mess.

The kitchen often was mess central. Cookies to be baked, brownies to be made, and Chex mix snacks to be crafted required bowls and trays, flour and sugar, boxes and bags not so carefully placed throughout the room. Before long, the countertops were covered in everything from flour to Tabasco sauce, with dust and crumbs making their way to the floor on several occasions. Another whole article could be written about the resulting mess in the kitchen sink.

Sometimes the prime location for the mess was a corner of the family room which housed an old card table with a tape dispenser and scissors sitting upon the surface. Leaning up against the wall were several rolls of wrapping paper that had either been purchased new or left over from the ghosts of Christmas past. A long Tupperware container was under the table and held ribbons, bows and gift tags. Depending on who had most recently wrapped, the corner and table could be fairly neat or could look like the confetti-filled streets following the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade.

I suppose our lives can be a little like the house. Several areas can be pretty straightened and clean, but it seems there is always a corner where clutter and disarray and turmoil and uneasiness seem to rule. The doctor says it is cancer. The husband has found someone new. The daughter says she is pregnant. The job is being phased out. A year has passed since the son was killed in a car wreck.

Darlene Mininni, author of The Emotional Toolkit, talks about ways to actually bring some order to the emotions of the holiday mess. “Writing about your holiday blues can actually change them,” she suggests. Her studies show that people who write about their deepest feelings when they are upset are less depressed and anxious than those who keep the thoughts inside. Writing 15 minutes for three or four days in a row at the beginning of the holiday season and answering questions like “Why does this upset me so much?” and “What would make this seem better to me?” can serve to clear the clutter from the messy room of life.

Over the next several weeks, we are going to take a peek the holiday season. We are going to try to examine through the Scriptures,  some of the things for which we need to be thankful. We will end with our utmost thanks for the gift of God’s Son.

And don’t be surprised as you take the time to straighten and clean if you happen to see a fingerprint from God here or there, helping pick up the pieces, calming the storm, providing comfort, getting your attention. He tends to do His best work creating wonders from chaos.

Bless this mess.