We have been studying the book of Ephesians for the last several weeks. We have been operating under the premise that the main message of the book is need for unity among believers. Unity does not mean that everyone agrees with everyone else on every issue or decision. The example Paul shares of that unity is the persona of the Trinity – the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. They are one being, in all and through all the same.

If you embraced Christian unity, how would your relationships change? Would you see a difference in your relationship with your spouse? How would the communication and connection between parents and children be different? Could the unity even touch your working or business relationships? These questions form the core of Paul’s teaching in the current section.

15 Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. 17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. 18 Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, 19 speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, 20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ (Ephesians 5:15-20 NIV).

Ephesians 5:15-20 NASB Ephesians 5:15-20 MESSAGE Ephesians 5:15-20 NLT

Paul uses a couple of phrases in this passage to capture our attention. “Be careful, then, how you live.” Because the light of the truth of God’s plan, the believer will pay painstaking attention to personal behavior. Paul adds a qualifying characteristic – live not as the unwise, but the wise.

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Paul’s admonition for wisdom in life parallels what he teaches to the Colossians, and elsewhere in Scripture.

Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity | Col 4:5

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom | Col 3:16

Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus | Col 3:17

See also Romans 12:2, 1 Thessalonians 4:3, Hebrews 13:15, James 5:13

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The phrase Paul uses is a common expression in his writings. Βλέπετε (BLEH-PEH-TEH) is often translated “see to it.” In this passage it is combined with οὖν ἀκριβῶς (OON AH-KRIB-OH-S) – “therefore, indeed; do this with accuracy, carefully, pay attention to the details.” If the Christian is going to live an irreproachable life, it is going to require the utmost concentration.

The phrase ἐξαγοραζόμενοι τὸν καιρόν, translated “making the most of every opportunity” in an interesting concept. The verb means “to buy back’ (our concept of redemption). It was a word used by merchants in the marketplace. The farmer would bring crops or meat to sell at the market. Before the first customer arrived, the farmer would set aside something for his own evening meal. The farmer would essentially “buy it back” and “take it off the market.” These items were not for sale, non-negotiable.

Do you see the amazing application for our behavior? Our behavior is “non-negotiable.” It has been set aside, already purchased by the blood of Christ. That is wise living.

Paul then makes an interesting comparison and contrast. Using the language of Proverbs 23:30, Paul calls to our attention how someone acts and speaks when they are drunk. Have you ever listened to a drunk individual talking? Their language is loud, their words are slurred, and the concepts they share do not always fit together with meaning. Drunkenness was a common occurrence for the Ephesians to witness. The danger of drunkenness (Galatians 5:21) is how it affects behavior. It is why we do not want someone drunk driving a car. It is the same word used to describe the “wild living” of the prodigal son (Luke 15:13). To the Greek, it represented extravagant waste, squandering money, behavior, and perspective.

 

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The theological implications of “be filled” with the Spirit are crucial for building a biblical doctrine of the Holy Spirit, but also understanding how the believer lives life. The command resides in “imperative passive” voice: let yourself be filled with the Spirit. [/su_pullquote]

 

Do you understand the surprising alternative? Instead, let your life be influenced in the same way by the Spirit. In this contrast, the reader expected Paul to argue for abstinence. Instead he says, “Be the same kind of drunk, but with God’s Spirit.” Your life should be so filled by the Spirit that He affects how you speak and how you walk. We KNOW how a drunk walks. Imagine how a believer walks!

 

So let’s quickly follow the applications that Paul makes for this teaching. How does “being filled with the Spirit” look in our real-life relationships?

between our spouse: submission

21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband (Ephesians 5:21-33 NIV).

Ephesians 5:21-33 NASB Ephesians 5:21-33 MESSAGE Ephesians 5:21-33 NLT

In every generation, there are cultural norms which help dictate the relationship shared between a husband and a wife. Obviously the image of marriage portrayed in culture today has strayed far from its biblical mandates. Regardless of what the “drunken” standard is at the time, the “filled” standard remains constant. Husbands and wives are to submit to one another.

Paul explains the basis and application of such submission. We submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. This mutual submission idea would have been just as “counter-cultural” to the Ephesians as it is to us.

The terms “head of the wife” and “head of the church” create an image that causes many to bristle. We picture an authoritarian image: the one telling the other what to do. I wonder if a better image would be one of responsibility. The church stands before God with Christ as the responsible party. Without Christ, the believer would not even be there.

After Eve sinned in the garden (and Adam followed), God did not come looking for Eve. He came looking for Adam. Adam was the responsible party. In a metaphorical sense, without Adam, Eve would not have even been there. The image is not possession, but sacrifice.

But notice how this entire picture comes back to the concept of unity. Just as we are united in and with Christ, we are to be united in marriage. This is the reason we leave our parents and become united to our spouse. The two become one – in flesh, in spirit, and in emotions. Without submission to one another, there cannot be unity.

Notice Paul’s kicker: the unity in marriage is the same unity between Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:32) and vice versa.

between parents and children: respect

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”

4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:1-3 NIV).

Ephesians 6:1-3 NASB Ephesians 6:1-3 MESSAGE Ephesians 6:1-3 NLT

Understanding biblical unity molds the relationship between parents and children. Parents love and care for their children, understanding they are to train up a child, not just physically and mentally, but spiritually. The child is to know the Lord and how to respond to those in authority. The key concept in this passage seems to be respect. The child respects the role of mentor and authority the parents holds. The child responds with obedience and honor. The child begins to understand honoring parents actually provides benefits to them.

This entire passage has a unique structure. In verse one, children are addresses directly. In each of these relationships, Paul explains the stronger has obligations to the weaker. In a society where the wife was treated as the property of the husband, this was revolutionary. The same is true where the father was seen as the absolute authority over the child.

Parents are not to exasperate the child. The Greek phrase μὴ παροργίζετε is an interesting one. It literally means to “goad a child into a perpetual state of resentment (compare this with Ephesians 4:26). It is not just that the parent makes unreasonable demands, although that can be part of the case. The parent makes such constant demands, the child can never feel good enough, or can never feel they please the parent.

within working relationships: know who is master

Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. 6 Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. 7 Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people, 8 because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do, whether they are slave or free.

9 And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him (Ephesians 6:5-9 NIV).

Ephesians 6:5-9 NASB Ephesians 6:5-9 MESSAGE Ephesians 6:5-9 NLT

The deplorable relationship in the culture of the first century was slavery. Paul realized that he did not have the ability to do away with the practice, but he wanted to show that Christianity could transform the relationship. If there is a comparison for today’s culture, it might be between employer and employee.

If there is a principle Paul expounds here, it is to know who the master is in the relationship. For the application today, the master is the one signing the paycheck. The employee agrees to do work for pay, thereby obligating him to go by the rules and to honestly do the job.

Paul says “serve wholeheartedly” (Ephesians 6:7) as if you were working for the Lord and not for people. An added principle uncovers a truth: God will reward each for the good done on earth. But Paul doesn’t stop there. The master is to treat the slave in the same way – meaning the master should serve the slave wholeheartedly. This is more than just signing a paycheck. Treat those under you with care and compassion.

Paul specifically says the master should not threaten slaves. Even in the workplace today, management often tries to yell and force the employee to do the work. Threatening others shows poor management skills.

In the working relationship, know who the master is. The real Master resides in heaven.