As we come to the end of our discussion about meaningful repentance, you may have changed your idea of what it means to repent. Starting repentance with a heart toward God may not have been a part of your theological understanding. Repentance may have stirred some sorrow within you, but it didn’t touch a real feeling of lament. The final concept of repentance deals with guilt. What we will discuss today may be as foreign to you as fluently speaking the Hebrew language.
“Mom-guilt”
If you “Google” the phrase, “Mom makes me feel guilty,” thousands of websites will pop up in front of your eyes. Some of the titles may surprise you a bit. Listen to some of them:
- “Guilt-Tripping Mother? 10 Steps to Break Free”
- “Understanding and Overcoming Mom Guilt”
- “7 Ways to Deal with Mom Guilt”
- “How to Handle Guilt Messages from Your Mom”
In essence, “Mom guilt” takes things that you did or didn’t do from the past and makes your present feel guilt because of it. Do you know someone that does that to you? They will say things that “trigger” the feelings of guilt inside you because of your past. In theory, you have been forgiven for these past actions, but the “mom” in your life never lets you forget them.
There is a really important truth for Christians to draw from the idea of “Mom guilt.” When we embrace Christ, God forgives our sins. “There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). Even though we are forgiven of our sins, there are things in our lives that trigger our feelings of guilt.
God does not trigger them in us. The guilt feelings are triggered either by Satan or ourselves.
There is no such thing as being worthy of grace. Deserved grace is not grace.
Guilt Triggers
The last step to achieve a sincere, meaningful repentance is to turn and take steps toward God, The one factor that stands in the way of the step toward God remains guilt. How many times have you heard someone say, “I am trying to do what is right, but I am just not sure.” The statement has two problems. The believer doesn’t understand grace. There is no “trying” – forgiveness is already granted. The “unsure” feelings probably come from left-over guilt.
Several factors can “trigger” the feelings of guilt. First, we may be spending too much time with old friends at old places. Our sin has a history, and revisiting the history triggers old feelings and old temptations. Just like a “mom” that reminds us of past mistakes, old friends take us to past moments of sin.
Another factor that triggers the feelings of guilt, Satan often works through our memory. Just as an individual with childhood trauma is reminded of the trauma by times of year or certain locations, our sins press their way to the forefront of our minds by people, places, and times.
Finally, guilt comes from poor theology. The less we understand about the nature of God, the nature of grace and forgiveness, and the content of the Scriptures, the greater the chances for feelings of guilt. Unfortunately, bad theology can also be driven by well-meaning Christians who also have bad theology. There is a reason that Jesus said that the truth will set us free (John 8:32).
What Can You Do About the Guilt?
Are there things that we can do to handle the guilt feelings? First, understand and test the Scriptures to provide a solid foundation of theology to stand upon. The following Scriptures can help provide that foundation.
- Colossians 2:14
- 1 John 4:10
- Isaiah 53:5
- Isaiah 53:6
- Galatians 3:13
Pray to God to purge your mind of the guilt feelings. Make your prayers sound like this:
“Father, take away the impulses that make me lose hope in my future. Let me rely on your promise ‘to work everything together for my good (Romans 8:28).'”
“Father, remove my thoughts that make me feel as if I am useless and have no purpose. Help me to see that your work is never in vain (1 Corinthians 15:58).”
“Father, keep me from feeling fearful or anxious about my future. Help me be secure in your love and know that you are my God (Isaiah 41:10)”
“Father, help me not to feel that I have to do enough good things to feel worthy of your grace. Help me rest in the fact that I do not deserve your love, yet you give it to me freely.”
Turn Toward God
Here are some action steps that can accompany the Scriptures. First, make some Scriptures so much a part of your life that they are almost memorized. Think about how many times Jesus knew exactly the Scripture that He needed to combat Satan. Know the Scripture by reading it multiple times each day – not just on Sundays. Engulf your mind with Romans 3 and Hosea 11.
Next, commit yourself to a healthy, Bible-believing church. Find a church where you are loved by people and you are taught not only the love of God, but feel loved by God.
In addition to a good church, find an ally with whom you can share and embrace. Many church-growth experts are using the phrase “find an accountability partner,” but that seems to imply a level of authority and a hierarchy. We are all on the same level at the foot of the cross. Find that person and don’t let them go. Sharpen each other. Ask questions of each other. Look for practical ways to be faithful. Pray for each other. Two really are better than one (Ecclesiastes 4:9).
Finally, find a solid biblical teacher from whom you can read, listen and learn daily. In my lifetime, Bob Russell, Dave Stone (former preachers at Southeast Christian Church), Charles Swindoll, Max Lucado, Eugene Peterson, and Ray Van der Laan have served that purpose. Today, I listen or read from Tim Keller and Albert Mohler daily.
March through your day, with all its challenges and changes, daring to leave your guilt behind and step toward your Lord.